Thursday, June 30, 2011

Will You ‘Merry’ Me?

Will You ‘Merry’ Me?  

Just as I was listening to Bruno Mars’ Marry You, I figured out that the whole idea of getting married is so much fun to the girl.  It started from getting proposed by their loved ones, got shocked, saying “YES, I DO!” and then wearing an engagement ring for the first time.  Everyone gets touched and there will be eyes full of envy as they watch.  Followed by putting on the veil & beautiful as white as pearl wedding dress, walk down the aisle and receive tons and tons of congratulatory messages.  As soon as they are done with the ceremony, their new phase of life begins!

‘I am so bored with my life’, says Amelly.  

‘Why?  Aren’t you happily married with the one you have always loved?’

‘I mean, Yes, I am happily married with Zac, but that’s all.  This is it.  Aw, I just kinda miss my old freedom where I get to lead a life not having to report my whereabouts.  Now I have to get back home on time for dinner, go marketing, helping to look after in-law’s kids, be a good wife, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, bla bla bla...’

‘Can’t you make sometime for yourselves, I mean, make a deal with your hubby!  Ask him for some time on your own, not having to go through timetables.  I guess he’ll be fine with your request, won’t he?’

‘I am so not sure about it.  He might agree, but what will his family think about me?  I don’t wanna ruin this ‘perfect’ moment he always wanted as a family.  I guess it’s just too cruel.’

Many friends told me, getting married to the one you love doesn’t mean getting married to ONE person; you are in fact marrying into another family (as if we don’t have enough problems to handle in OUR own family).  Time is always inadequate because we have to compromise and divide our most PRECIOUS free time (normally high-teas, chats till we’re out of topics, and sometimes sports with our own girlfriends) to both sides of our family.  How many of us do enjoy such demanding “married job”?  I certainly am afraid of it just by listening to stories from my girlfriends about how you have to cope with your in-laws! 
This was why the second episode of Cinderella wasn’t popular!  I bet you wouldn’t know it exist!  I watched it, trust me.  And it was just so down to earth, no fairy tales worth for us to imagine because it was all about her being married into the royal family, was trying her best to fit herself into her new status and home.  Of course they didn’t leave out the part where she has to build the relationship between herself and her IN-LAWS, the King and the Queen!  In the movie, she was often left alone at home because the prince needs to go away from home all the time and all she could do was wait.  She also had to prepare a feast to welcome the prince when he’s back.  In conclusion, she was all the time waiting and serving her man and his family.  Some of you might find it interesting but how long can you do this for?  

Is there life after marriage?  We truly wanna believe in it, but we need some real good examples badly before we wanna jump into it.  I am sure that this topic always brings about a very tough and exhausting debate!  Well, to each his own!  Anyway, Bruno Mars’ Marry You was actually quite a good suggestion we can try if we wanna just get ‘merry’ instead of ‘married’ as his lyrics goes; 

‘If you wake up and you wanna break up that’s cool.  No I won’t blame you.  It was fun, girl.’  


Saturday, June 18, 2011

A father's day wish: Dads, wake the hell up!

I know it's bad to be criticizing most dads at a day like this, but like what Jeff Pearlman says,
"Make Father's Day less about you, and all about them." 

Well, even though our dads have lots of shortcomings, but we can't deny that they do love us as much as we love them.  My dad always cook my favourite food when I'm back home, he always switch my touch n' go card with his (coz his was always loaded), he always help me with my car, he always ask if we needed to go for foot massage etc etc....    Isn't it good enuff? 
So, Happy Father's Day, Dad! 

A father's day wish: Dads, wake the hell up!

By Jeff Pearlman, Special to CNN
June 17, 2011 -- Updated 1418 GMT (2218 HKT)
(CNN) -- The woman started crying.
I didn't expect this, because, well, why would I? We were two adults, standing in a preschool auditorium, waiting for the year-end musical gala to begin, talking summer plans and Twitter and junk fiction and all things mindless parents talk at mindless events. Then -- tears.
"My husband," she said, "doesn't care."
"Uh, about what?" I asked.

The floodgates now open, she told me her husband works from home. But he never drops their daughter off at preschool. He never picks their daughter up at preschool. He never wakes up with their daughter, never puts her to bed, never takes her to a movie or a carnival or a ball game; never comes up with fun daddy-daughter activities. "All he worries about is golf," the mother said. "Sometimes he'll take her to the driving range for an hour. But that's it. ..."
Two days later, by mere coincidence, a different mother cornered me. I was sitting in a pizzeria with my son, Emmett, and daughter, Casey, gnawing on a calzone. The woman, another preschool regular who always seems to be dragging around her kids with the worn look of a chain gang inmate, glanced my way and muttered, "My husband would never do that."
"Do what?" I asked.
"Be out alone with both of the kids at once," she said. "Never."

In case you are wondering, I am that dad. The one who works out of the house. The one who drives his kids to school, packs lunches and pushes swings and arranges play dates and attends teacher conferences and -- generally speaking -- frequently finds himself alone in brightly colored rooms filled with women and tykes.

Along with my wife (who, until recently, also worked from home), I wipe snot, clean poop, order time outs and say no -- Really, no! I'm being serious, no! -- to the damned ice cream man and his Satanic siren call. I know all of my kids' friends, and most of their tendencies (Ashley and Emily love dolls, Lucas only wants to talk about Derek Jeter, Tyler digs applesauce).

Hence, I have been sent here today, on behalf of the stay-at-home mothers of the world, to convey to my fellow pops a message of love and hope in this lead-up to Father's Day: Wake the hell up.
Really, wake the hell up. Now. I understand that most of you have 9-to-5 jobs, that you leave tired and come home tired and just wanna chill in front of SportsCenter with a bowl of chips. But, seriously, you have no remote idea: Being a stay-at-home parent is exhausting. At the office, you can hide. You can take lunch. You can pretend you're working while scrolling the Internet for Yankees-Blue Jays and, ahem, Lindsay Lohan news. You have genuine social interactions with folks over the age of, oh, 12. People ask questions about your day -- and listen to the answers.
I envy you, but I sort of pity you. Kids grow. Age 1 turns to age 3, which turns to age 7, which turns to 15 and 18 and 21, all in the blink of an eye. If you're there, as I am, it flies. If you're not there -- if you're almost never there -- it barely exists at all. Which is why I just can't stomach those millions of dads who view their days at home as recovery from work, who'd rather rest than engage, who have no problem with passing the tykes off for more alone time with mom and who, literally, moan to their wives, "You have no idea how hard I work."

For you, I offer these 10 commandments of righteous fatherhood. Pay close attention, because, behind your back, people are pitying your wife:

1. No golf on weekends: Seriously, it's ludicrous. Your spouse is home with the kids all the time, and you think it's OK to take five hours on a weekend day to pursue your own pastime? Selfishness, thy name is Father.
2. Wake up: Literally, wake up. With your kids. On at least one of the two weekend days -- and perhaps both. I know: you wake up early for work. Not even remotely the same thing. Rising alongside the kiddies is hard. And crazy. And (gasp!) sorta fun, if you'd just stop moping.
3. Change diapers: If you have little kids, and you don't know how to change diapers (or, even worse, refuse to change diapers), you're pathetic. That's no exaggeration -- p-a-t-h-e-t-i-c. It's not all that hard, and though the poop sometimes winds up on the fingers, well, uh, yeah. It just does. Wash your hands.
4. Play with dolls and paint your toenails: How many fathers do I know who refuse to get girlish with their girls? Dozens. Dude, put aside the machismo, break out Barbie and slather on some pink polish. You'll make a friend for life -- and nobody else is watching.
5. Do things you don't want to do: It's easy to take the kids to the driving range -- because you want to be there. Now try spending the day having a tea party at American Girl. Or crawling through one of those wormholes at the nearby kiddie gym. Fun? Often, no. But this isn't about you.
6. Order the wife to bug off: I recently met a mother who told me her husband hadn't been alone with their 9-year-old daughter for more than two hours ... ever. Inexcusable. Let your wife do her own thing: relax, take a run, whatever. Entertain your children solo. They don't bite (Note: is not liable if your children do, in fact, bite).
7. Surprise! Just once, on a random day without meaning or purpose, show up early at your kid's school/camp/wherever, say "Get in the car!" and take him/her somewhere special. Just the two of you, alone. A movie. A park. A hike. The memory lasts -- I promise.
8. Dishes Don't Clean Themselves (Nor Do Toys): It's amazing how this one works. You pick up a dish, run it under hot water with some soap, rub it down with a towel and place it back on the shelf. Then repeat.
9. Wake up your kid: Not often. But if you want to score big points and create a killer memory moment, walk in Junior's room at, oh, midnight, wake him/her up and go outside for 10 minutes to watch the stars.
10. For God's sake, tell your kids you love them: They never see you, and they'd probably like to know.

Bud, as you read this your wife is expecting little -- and your kids are expecting even less. Pull one out of the blue. Make Father's Day less about you, and all about them.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Jeff Pearlman.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You

In life, we tend to do a lot of things JFF (just for fun) only to realize that we really loved doing it.  This is what i really loved doing.  A song request from a good friend, Birdie.  Bird, this is for you.  :)  Thanks to Leslie too for jammin with me.  Enjoy! 
(Recorded 2010 Sept)

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong
Our dreams are young
And we both know they'll take us
Where we want to go

Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you
If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

A Rebel or a Goody-Two-Shoes?

Life is short.  You wouldn't know what will happen the next minute you walk out of the door or when you go to bed.  Sometimes I live a lazy life.  Get out of bed, make a cup of coffee even without brushing my teeth and sit in front of my lappie browsing through FB.  I was numb, I was dreaming, I wasn't awake, because I believed we need to spend quality time with our self.  At this moment, our parents will come knocking on our door. 

"Hi there, what are you doing?"
"Hi Mum, nothing."
"Nothing?  Why don't you go for a jog?  Or you should go do some ... ... ... .... ......  "

There were always tons of things waiting for me to get it done, or at least find 'something' to do.  Parents always know what's best for us, isn't it?  But do they really understand our needs?

I was always a Rebel in my family.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm 100% truthful, loving, & definitely a filial daughter.  I love spending time with them.  Being a rebel doesn't mean breaking their hearts.  The world doesn't stop spinning.  Clock ticks.  Times change.  People improve.  Things aren't the same every decade.  We have our own thoughts and ideas bout life every now & then.  Can our parents accept them?  Yes they can (I always believed that) but it takes time.  I simply LOVE my mum!  She always keeps herself updated bout things.  Communication breakdowns were the last thing I wanted in my family.  But we can't escape them. 

Parents are like listeners.  I don't wanna be in the comfort zone & do the norm.  I do not care if the majority doesn't like my music because I believed I have a group of people who understands me & my music. 

It's time for you to spend some quality time with yourself & start noticing if you have ever understand your own needs.

So, what are you?  A rebel or a goody-two-shoes?

-I must love what I do or I'm soulless-